When you are a real victim in a situation, one who stumbled into something without bad intention and didn’t know any better at the time, sometimes gratitude doesn’t really help you connect with the solution you are seeking.

If you see someone expressing a ton of gratitude online, it can trick you into believing that person has never experienced real pain.

You need someone who can acknowledge the reality of the situation, any situation that makes you realize “hey, this person isn’t just a golden retriever. They’re more of a doberman, or maybe a black cat”. Maybe that’s just the doberman in me talking. Or the black cat.

Golden retrievers are great! The dog and the human archetype. Sunshine, smiles, kisses, great vibes. Golden retriever energy is the type that pulls dark personalities like ours out of the muck for a moment. They give us a reason to smile when the rest of the world makes us frown, or give them side eye. We fall in love with Golden Retrievers because they have something we are missing. Spark of light. And then, they break our hearts because their attention spans last all of 2 seconds (and that’s long for a Golden) and we’re left going “what the heck man?”

I don’t think I could learn how to live a good life from a Golden Retriever. They are far too nice and naive. The reason they leave people like us in the dust is because they don’t let many things matter to them. And then they go and get their hearts broken, and then they become more like us. Black Cats and Dobermans need to be with people who actually have depth.

Golden Retrievers are people who acknowledge that pain exists in the world for other people, but it hasn’t really affected them deeply yet. They are more like children in adult bodies. Better for shining the Light than sharing it.

And, for lack of a better word, Golden Retriever types tend to be dumb. So dumb. Shallow. That is what makes them so much fun. In short bursts. Or for a little while, at least. They bring the Sun.

But when you are melancholic, as I tend to be, we don’t always want the sun. Sometimes, we need to be with people who enjoy the shadows. Laying in the dark. Enjoying all that life has to offer, even when it isn’t always everyone’s idea of fun. Our lives don’t have to appeal to everybody. They have to appeal to us.

Golden Retrievers can’t really hang out with us in those places. They get scared. They get bored, they get depressed. They look for shallower waters, they run away, while we are wading right into the depths with a huge smile on our faces. Golden Retrievers are the ones who say “you’re weird” when you show them too much. It’s not that you’re weird, it’s that they’re afraid. And they don’t have the heart of a courageous lion yet. They’re too naive.

I don’t really know what archetype I am when it comes to these animal analogies. I don’t know if I’m a Doberman, a Black Cat, or somewhere in between.

What I do know is that I’m not quite an April Ludgate, but I’m also not NOT an April Ludgate (from Parks and Rec), if you get my drift. If you haven’t watched that show yet, I highly recommend it.

That being said, I prefer the Light. Even when I am at my worst, I focus on God. I don’t enjoy evil imagery. Yeah, I like vampire castles. Sue me.

I choose the Angels and Elementals of Light every time. Vampires are awesome. Fairies, dragons, elves. Even at my most gothic, I still like my crosses and my pentagrams upright, if you get what I am saying.

I like people who just GET IT without me having to say a bunch of words and convince them of things or teach them a lot because they already know. They’ve already done the work. And they want to go deeper. They are curious to learn more. They are actively seeking into things like Tarot, Astrology, Wicca. They are willing to consider anything that crosses their path. Like the Lineage of King Salomon teachings.

Golden Retrievers don’t know much. I’m sorry, not sorry, they don’t. There is not much going on upstairs. They are far too happy to be smart.

Dobermans, Black Cats, and any other archetype I don’t know of that falls into this category, we tend to be too intellectual for our own good. We think about *everything*.

We know too much. We see all, or nearly all. We feel so deeply that other people wish we could just shut off our brains. We believe that we have to shut ourselves down in order to function. That is why we go dark. That’s why we go on anti-depressants. That is why we dress in all black and wear insane amounts of eyeliner. It’s like a warning sign that reads: “leave me alone, I’m crazy, you don’t know what I will do next” when really we just want people to stop talking to us unless they actually have something interesting to say.

That is why when I talk to people, I try not to dwell on the “life sucks” part anymore. Because for me, life doesn’t suck at all. Even if you think it should.

Part of healing is realizing it never really did before either. No matter how bad it got. It was my inability to perceive all that was happening that made me believe it sucked.

And trust me, I have been through some really dark stuff. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I am sure you have too.

People who haven’t experienced trauma tend to not want to spend much time around me. Maybe it’s the vibe I give off. I am not sure. But even with 4.5k followers (on FB at least), I only have a few people actually reacting and responding to what I share. Thank you for being one of them, if you are.

I am grateful for the trauma I have survived. I am grateful that healing is possible. I didn’t always feel that way. Maybe you don’t feel that way now. Maybe you think you never will.

You don’t have to. You don’t have to be grateful for terrible things that happen to you. Especially not in order to heal. I would never do that to you. I would never tell you “be grateful! It could have been so much worse. You’re lucky it happened to you.” You’re not.

The worst one in my mind is “it was all part of God’s plan.” That is a terrible one to hear. When you know that you went through something traumatic, something horrible that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy’s grandmother and someone says “God planned that just for you”. She didn’t. He didn’t. I promise you that.

That is why I enjoy walking the path of the RM. Ritual Master in training in the Lineage of King Salomon here https://modernmysteryschoolint.com/forge-fortify/

Because Ritual Masters get to learn what really happens as part of God’s plan. And what doesn’t.

Most people will never be ready to receive teachings this deep.

All I can tell you right now is that you didn’t deserve to suffer. You didn’t deserve to be abused. You don’t deserve it now, either. You deserve one thing: to heal. To live the greatest life imaginable, especially if you have been abused, but even if you haven’t (which you have, I’m almost sure of it). You deserve to know yourself and love yourself so deeply that the abuse is just a thing that happened in the past. It’s not even a part of your story anymore because it doesn’t deserve that kind of attention from you. Like a tattoo you regret, and how your mind just starts erasing it from your awareness after a while. That is where your abuse deserves to end up – erased. Something you no longer think about because it doesn’t matter anymore.

That is possible. I want you to know that it is. I have done it. My Teachers taught me how. They’ve done it too, I believe. I could be wrong. So forgive me if I seem too joyful to understand. I can be both joyful and understanding of your experience.

I try my best to show that I know the world has awful experiences in it, and that we all are affected by them in some way. I just have less than 0 desire to dwell on them. The only reason I do is because I believe they will help me connect with you. Someone who is looking for a solution to their pain has to know that someone with that solution acknowledges that pain exists. It is real. Since it is real, it can be vanquished.

You got this.

We can do it together, if you want too. If you don’t, at least make sure you’re following me? That way you can get more of my content. In all honesty, I hate telling people that – to follow me. But I know sometimes I don’t follow creators I like until they tell me to. Maybe I’m a sheep that way.

Maybe that is how you are too. Just please forgive me if it made you cringe (yes, you can use cringe that way). I have a tendency to do that too. I’m not perfect, especially not to someone as exacting, particular, and as sensitive as you. I never will be. And that’s okay.

I also have some other places where you can see additional content of mine for free.

www.iammelissareddick.com – the main thing here is a personal blog and 365 days of journaling prompts to help you clear your head.

www.themelissareddick.com – today it’s just a space for me to build out my personal brand as I establish myself as a Healer and Teacher in the Lineage of King Salomon in the Greater Philadelphia Area.

IG, easy enough to find. Threads too. YouTube. I use the same handle everywhere, @themelissareddick, except for on Reddit. On Reddit I am “u/lovestowrite888”, at least I am today. Maybe tomorrow, that will change too. Who knows? I might want them all to be the same after writing this post. I’m weird that way.

That’s it, I think. I hope you stick around. I hope what I share resonates with you. I hope it brings a smile to your face someday, even though I know that might be hard to imagine today.

Want to know something about me? I don’t know why this matters but it does. I love going to massage therapists and receiving legitimate massages. Going on spa days. Getting to relax. I think you should try this sometime. Even if you’re a teenager. It is good for you.

It’s really good for telling the darkness within to kick rocks. It helps you make room for the Light – which is your foundation for living an awesome life.

Also, human touch does something to the human spirit. We need it to heal and grow. I’m not talking about sexual healing, although adults need that too from other adults. I’m talking about professional massage, chiropractic care. Hugs from friends and family members you like who don’t creep you out. Holding hands with a boyfriend or girlfriend who is your age.

These things heal you to various degrees. They teach your nervous system that the world is a safe place to be, even when your mind is using every trick in the book to tell you it’s a horror show and you should be afraid 24/7 (or better yet 25/8, you little overachiever you).

If you don’t like people touching you, like I didn’t for a long, long time. I hated it, unless they were very specific people in my life. If that’s how you are too, then go to a spa. Somewhere where you can sit in a bath full of warm or hot or even cold water. It’s good to alternate so you don’t end up with heat stroke. Saunas are good too, hot and cool.

I know, I know, you probably don’t like being around people either.

Then just take a hot bath at home. Soak yourself for a while. Relax. You deserve it. I don’t know if it is possible for you to relax at home. It wasn’t for me when I was a teenager, but hey, maybe you are one of the lucky ones. If you are, then throw in some Epsom Salts, Himalayan Sea Salt, or a bath bomb into that bath. I like the bath bombs from Lush the best. The ones at Walmart are just kinda meh. The ones from Lush always smell amazing to me. So bright, clean, uplifting. And you get to smell them before you take them home.

Take a break from the vampire and exorcism movies for a while. Give your mind a rest.

If you are going to heal, you are going to have to figure out a way to push yourself out of your comfort zone eventually. Trust me. You will thank me for it one day. Just don’t put yourself in a situation where you end up retraumatized, please. Maybe go with a friend to the spa if you are afraid to go alone. I don’t know, I think I’ve said enough on this topic already. You got this.

Listen to your intuition, first and foremost. If your inner voice is screaming at you “don’t listen to this woman! she’s insane” I respect that. I get it. I really do. I think that about myself sometimes too, and then I get over it and carry on because the world needs some of my insanity. It’s part of my charm, and it’s part of my personal magick.

I can’t wait to see what you can do with your personal charm and magick, when you are ready to listen to me and let me help you unfold them in your life. They already are unfolding. That is what brought you here to my page in the first place. You need someone to show you how to use what you’ve got.

I can do that. All you have to do is let me know you’re ready. I will see you then!