The video below covers the topics written in the post, and includes much more. It all depends on what you are ready to receive. Watch the video or read the post?

Telling other people’s truth for them is not the heroic feat you may believe it to be.

I have spoken about truth a lot this morning and the importance of being honest with oneself. It helps to also be honest with at least one other person, otherwise you are lying to everyone else aside from yourself.

That really does a harmful number on the soul. Whether or not you believe in the soul is a moot point. It also messes with your mind, your psyche, your emotions, and of course it takes a toll on your physical body as well.

How do I know this?

Well, honesty is the thing that keeps addicts clean from addiction once they decide to stop using and sober up.

If you are not an addict, that still applies to you. The reason it works for addicts AND you is because when you are lying to the world (since we can never really lie to ourselves, we always know the truth) you have to run from the lie. You have to escape. That desire to escape feels like you hate the world. You hate people, you hate your life, you hate your job, you hate everything.

Why does that happen?

Because everything you know and “love” is built on a lie. That creates what doctors call “cognitive dissonance”. I know it as “it tears you apart inside”.

That being said, no one else can tell your story for you and have it be healing for you.

That is why you cannot tell other people’s truths and have it be good for them either.

If someone is committed to living a lie and you start telling the Truth, they are going to choose what they are committed to. That person is going to dig their heels in even deeper. They will try to destroy you too.

It is a rare individual who will go towards the Light in this situation. That person is practically non-existant, and for the purpose of this post we are going to assume you do not know a person like this because you do not. That person you are thinking of whose story you want to tell will fall apart if you tell it for them. They have to want to come to it on their own.

It is hard as a brother or sister, or friend, to watch someone you know and love die inside more and more each day because he or she is living a lie. It is painful, scary, and heartbreaking to watch the Light disappear from his or her eyes more and more each day.

I know it is. I’ve done it too. And I have tried the other ways. It does not work out the way you want it to.

You want that person to live a good, happy, healthy life. That is what he or she deserves, even though he or she made a choice and has had to live with that choice since a young age. We all want that for him or her. He or she has to want that too.

So if you are not the one struggling with a secret, what can you do? You can focus on healing yourself so you do not feel the (actually harmful) need to help or “fix” that person you are so intensely focused on. That is a disease in and of itself. Most people call it codependency. I find that term to be too forgiving. It is obsession at it’s most basic level. You are obsessing over them for the same reason they are not being honest with themselves.

You too are living a lie and are trying to escape it. That is why Codependency Anonymous exists.

Doesn’t feel so good to hear the Truth now does it? You are acting in the same exact way that the person you are obsessing over is. For the same reason. Now what are you going to do about it? Now that the focus is back on you?

You have two options.

1) Be honest with yourself. Go to Therapy. Talk it out.

2) Pretend that you are healthy. Look at yourself in the mirror, your physical body, your mind, your emotions and say “We are perfect just the way we are, aren’t we? We are okay.”

You are not okay. If you are reading this post, you are not okay. You are in pain, every single day. You are lying to yourself about something big, or at least you are trying to. You are beginning to fail at that. Everything around you has fallen to garbage because you are operating from a foundation built on one single lie. That is it. One lie that you tell yourself every single day.

What is it?

Write it down if you have to. Get it out on paper first. Let yourself at least accept it. Burn it right away if you want to.

You have been victorious at least once in your life if you do that. Nobody has to know. Ball it up and run it under water until it’s destroyed. Tear it to shreds. Throw it away. Hell, write it down on toilet paper and then rip it up and flush it down the toilet.

I do not care how you hide your tracks. What I care about is that you are honest with yourself.

That is literally the only way to get yourself out of the hole that you are in today.